The Holy Quran has greatly emphasized the status of parents and encouraged children to honor, obey, and be kind to them. It places significant importance on respecting parents and makes obedience to them a duty that comes immediately after worshiping God. Islam gives immense attention to the rights of parents, making their honor and obedience second only to the worship of Allah due to their great role in the lives of their children from birth to adulthood. Here, I will elaborate on what the Quran says regarding parents, with a deeper reflection on the verses.
### 1. **Command to be kind to parents after worshiping Allah**
Allah, the Almighty, made honoring parents one of the greatest acts of obedience after monotheism and worship of Him, as seen in numerous verses where obedience to parents follows the command to worship Allah. Allah says in Surah Al-Isra:
**"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word."**
*(Surah Al-Isra: 23)*
This verse offers a clear divine directive to children to honor their parents, especially in their old age when they are in most need of care.
- **Kindness to parents:** This does not just mean obedience but goes beyond it, requiring efforts to offer the best in word and deed, and ensuring their comfort.
- **Do not say "uff":** This phrase represents the smallest form of disrespect or annoyance, which is prohibited, even in whispers.
- **Noble words:** Children must always be careful to use kind, gentle, and respectful language when dealing with their parents.
### 2. **Gratitude to parents alongside gratitude to Allah**
Allah links gratitude to Him with gratitude to one's parents. This connection highlights the immense status of parents. Allah says in Surah Luqman:
**"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination."**
*(Surah Luqman: 14)*
- **The burden of pregnancy:** This verse reminds us of the mother's hardships during pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding, which are among the most difficult periods for her, requiring the children to be appreciative and thankful.
- **Gratitude to parents:** Just as a person is obligated to thank Allah for His blessings, they are also commanded to thank their parents for their role in raising and nurturing them.
### 3. **Being kind to parents, even if they are non-believers**
The Quran clarifies in several places that one must be kind to their parents, even if they are not Muslims. Kindness to parents is a duty, regardless of their religion or beliefs. Allah says in Surah Luqman:
**"But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do."**
*(Surah Luqman: 15)*
In this verse, Allah commands not to obey parents in matters of sin (such as associating partners with Allah), but still stresses the importance of treating them with kindness and respect in worldly matters.
- **Living with them in kindness:** Even if parents are non-believers or call for associating others with Allah, that does not negate the duty of being kind and respectful to them.
### 4. **Special emphasis on the mother’s role**
The Quran often highlights the unique role and sacrifices of the mother, emphasizing the difficulties of pregnancy, childbirth, and upbringing. Allah says in Surah Al-Ahqaf:
**"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months."**
*(Surah Al-Ahqaf: 15)*
- **The mother’s struggle:** This verse serves as a reminder of the mother’s sacrifices during pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding, stages in which the mother often endures physical hardship, making her deserving of gratitude and kindness.
### 5. **Disobedience to parents is a great sin**
Disobedience to parents—failing to honor or even mistreating them—is considered one of the greatest sins in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized that it is one of the gravest major sins. While the Quran indirectly mentions that disobedience to parents could lead to punishment from Allah in both this world and the Hereafter, He says:
**"Those whom they invoke seek means of access to their Lord, striving as to which of them would be nearest, and they hope for His mercy and fear His punishment. Indeed, the punishment of your Lord is ever feared."**
*(Surah Al-Isra: 57)*
### 6. **Blessings in honoring parents**
Honoring one’s parents brings blessings and good fortune both in this life and the Hereafter. Kindness to parents is a means of extending one’s life, increasing sustenance, and earning Allah's pleasure. When parents are pleased with their child, it is a sign of Allah’s pleasure with the person.
### 7. **Praying for them**
It is the duty of a Muslim child to pray for their parents, especially after their death. Praying for them is a continuous act of honoring them, as Allah mentions at the end of the verses regarding parents in Surah Al-Isra:
**"And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'"**
*(Surah Al-Isra: 24)*
- **Lowering the wing of humility:** This metaphorical expression represents the act of being humble and gentle with one’s parents.
- **Praying for mercy:** This is an ongoing form of honoring parents, even after their death, where a child continues to earn rewards by praying for their parents.
### Conclusion
The Holy Quran places immense importance on honoring parents, establishing strict guidelines for treating them with mercy and kindness. Parents are the reason for a child’s existence, and they are the source of care and nurture from birth to adulthood. For this reason, children are obligated to repay this favor with recognition and goodness. All the verses that discuss honoring parents highlight the immense reward for kindness and the severe punishment for neglecting this duty.